Much has been lost to time since the ravaging of humanity but survivors have managed to piece together the origins of the virus from scattered sources.
The virus is believed to have been the unholy convergence of a bat and an alcoholic beverage known as ‘Corona’ that is made from barley malt, corn, hops and yeast.
Some idiot then apparently ate the bat, resulting in two events that would change humanity forever:
- Transmission of the virus from animal to human
- The discovery that bats are actually quite delicious!
Thus the ‘coronavirus’ was born. This was too long to say for humans of the old world so they gave it a shorter name – COVID-19.
This is an acronym that stands for:
Complete OVerreaction of Idiotic Dimensions. The ‘19‘ was the year it was discovered, which was 2019 in the old calendar. In Hebrew they referred to is as Covid-5780 to match their calendar. In the Mayan calendar it would have been… wait lol, the Mayan calendar ended back in 2012!